Being Mom

I was thinking about what to write about and decided to write about children and Moms in general. Of course that means that I’ll write a bit about my small humans (who have approved this topic). I had my children later in my life. It’s not that I didn’t want children early. I’d always hoped to have my children before I was 30. As we all know, however, the best laid plans, etc. I didn’t meet my DH until I was nearly 37. I had my first child at nearly 38 and my second when I was 42. So I was off by about a decade. But that’s a huge decade.

I was told by many folks and read repeatedly that Older Moms have more patience and that more life/work experience is useful. This is not necessarily true. In the case of this Older Mom, I’m more set in my ways so that patience thing – not really working for me. In addition, I’m somewhat more tired than when I was in my 20s and 30s. Being tired does not help with being patient. Also I just can’t fathom how my work experience is helping out here. I’m an attorney by training. I haven’t figured out a way to sue my children for not cleaning their rooms or for causing pain and suffering. I experience said pain and suffering every time I look in their rooms.

On the plus side I do know a lot more than when I was in my 20s. I keep thinking that some of that will come in handy especially now that my oldest is almost a teen. Although at my age remembering the teen years is a bit difficult. Another plus is that I’m more wily than when I was in my 20s. That helps with children. But no one handed me an Older Mom manual when my oldest was born nor was I given an instruction manual along with the baby. I don’t think that Younger Moms get that manual either.

So here is what this Older Mom has learned that I share with my children:

1) Everything you do has a consequence. Think before you act, if the consequence is acceptable, then act. And make sure that the consequence affects you and does no harm to anyone else.

2) Sometimes life is just not fair. You were not born with an assurance that life would be peachy and wonderful all the time. Deal with it.

3) Everything that you want will not be handed to you. The corollary to that is: There is no Bank of Mom.

4) Work hard for the things that you do want.

5) Be kind and polite.

6) Being angry is ok under the right circumstances.

7) Be kind even when angry. Spoken words can’t be erased.

There are lots more things that I’ve taught and will teach my children. But I’m not really sure that being an Older Mom is that much different than being a Younger Mom. Would I have been a different Mom at 27 than at 37? I doubt it, but I can’t be 100% positive. I do know that I would love my daughter and son just as much no matter my age. One thing is for certain though, if I had had my children at 26 and 32 they’d be out of the house by now. That thought makes me incredibly sad. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it when that day comes.

Qwill’s Question: Older Mom or Younger Mom – is there a real difference?

(The picture is included because I think that Chinese Lanterns look like hearts. And I heart my small humans. Besides it's pretty!)